Hey you guys! Since its just us girls and I mean Frannie hasn't even joined! Its quite sad!Sorry I havent had a moment to update or respond to ya'lls posts. Life here in TR is hectic to say the least. I stay so incredibly busy at both places. and yet i still have time to feel lonely and become depressed! isnt that just sad! i miss being around family and the business of our house, even though we had our moments where we wanted to kill each other, i would trade those feelings now for these. its hard. both of you have husbands and carol anne you are fixing to have a little one and yall have ppl to take care of and come home to and i have no one. i mean laurin, your parents and his are close by, carol anne you and kyle have made so many friends and im just alone. i mean kristen and i hung out friday night and that was great but she has a b/f, and she gets along with her roomie! i on the other hand, have a 77 yr old woman as my best friend! and she and i only see each other here at church. i mean its tough. jessica and i had a talk about our living problems and things have gotten somewhat better but most of the time, she and her b/f are in her room with the door shut and i'm all alone. have i mentioned i am ALL ALONE. you know that celine dion song, all by myself? yeah thats me and i dont wanna be all by myself. and yall know that when i get in one of this moods i think about my regrets like what if i had said yes to chase's marriage proposal, at least i wouldnt be alone and i would be near family. but as it is, i didnt and now im pretty sure im going to end up an old maid! i dont really regret saying no and i dont really regret not dating just for the sake of dating but im not going to lie, it stinks being the only one in the family thats never been in a relationship! i mean yall are married, kristi and frannie both have serious b/fs and josh has had a pretty serious g/f, charlie has plenty of girls in love with him and I what have I had, nada! no one to truly love me that i could love back! anyways thats the crude im trying to deal with and the fact that i havent been able to work out in the last two weeks and i will probably always be overweight/fat and never be able to look like yall! i mean yall do realize that even when yall are pregnant(laurin, kristi, frannie and you carol anne) yall will still look better than me, you will be cute and i will look disgusting. so i probably shouldnt get married or pregnant that way i wont make myself look worse than i already do.
and im sorry if yall dont like what im saying and you think you have something that will make me feel better or think differently but you wont because yall have always been the special ones, that could sing, looked beautiful, always quiet and meek and i have always been the overweight, chubby one who has the loud mouth so i will continue to play my role and the family, and unfortunatly for me no one likes it so that means no one likes me or always has a problem with me.
anyways love yall